There’s no way to sugarcoat it—most of us feel like absolute buffoons when tasting wine. There’s just something about wearing a poly-blend Zara blazer to a restaurant that you found on TikTok that doesn’t scream, “I can smell the notes of 1967’s Kinks hit, Waterloo Sunset, on the legs of this Bordeaux,” and that’s fine! Wine culture is rooted in centuries of classist practices, and at the end of the day, all that matters is that you enjoy what you’re sipping on.
That said, as with food, winemaking and tasting are beautiful and complex art forms that have been studied by scientists, historians, and anthropologists for generations, and often at nicer restaurants, there aren’t enough leather pants you can sport or “Hi, I buy my two buck chuck in bulk from Trader Joe’s” red flags you can wave to stop the waiter from pouring a whisper of whatever bottle you ordered and then hovering above your seat until you sniff, swirl, and agree to whatever they show you, no matter the taste.
You say, “Wow, this is lovely,” despite never using that particular adjective outside of this exact context, and you both know that this ritual dance you just performed was a big “blind leading the blind, deaf, and mute into the abyss” sort of situation when they finally leave you alone to sip your "second cheapest option on the menu" in peace.
However, as you grow older, you do come across more and more dinner table situations where a baseline knowledge of what you’re sipping can come in handy. To help, we’ve collaborated with the incredible wine startup, demi, to create an Idiot’s Guide to Wine Tasting to help you pretend you’ve got a singular clue as to what you’re doing.
Here’s a TLDR dictionary of “wine words,” from the SOIRÉE site!
This will help remove any lingering food or drink flavors from your mouth so you have a fresh palate to discern the taste of your wine.
The reason you’re meant to angle your wine glass after the waiter or sommelier pours the “sip” into it is to check out its color and clarity (yes, like a diamond). The best way to do this is to find a white background, the tablecloth is usually the easiest bet, and then examine the color and clarity of the wine. Is it bright and clear or darker and murkier?
For reds, this could mean anything from a dark, deep purple to a more transparent, pale crimson color and for whites this means anything from as clear as water to a darker yellow gold (yes, like pee when you’re dehydrated). The darker yellow can either account for its age or the fact that it was stored in oak.
These trails are what Parent Trap's Meredith Blake would pretentiously call “legs.” The legs account for how “thick” the wine is and can either mean that it is on the sweeter side or has a higher alcohol content.
Swirling your wine before sniffing it oxygenates the pour, thus “opening” it up and bringing the smell out.
Some common scent notes to keep in mind are fruits—dark, citrus, orchard, stone, tropical—and whether they smell fresh, cooked, or sweet and jammy, flowers, spices, toasted flavors, nutty flavors, or smoky flavors, and even meat or tobacco.
The smell of a wine can tell you a lot about what it is and where it’s from. Each grape has a distinctive scent, hotter climates can mean jammier, sweeter flavors, the soil in different regions makes the grapes taste differently, buttery and yeasty flavors can be a result of how the wine was made or aged, and the age of the wine can be determined by the scent sometimes as well.
The most important thing that you can tell by smelling the wine—and the reason why you’re allowed to taste it before you are poured a whole glass—is whether or not it’s corked or gone bad.
First, be careful to take a tiny sip of your wine, swish it around your mouth, and try to breathe in a little bit. All of this helps to further oxygenate the wine and bring out all of the flavors and aromas.
Cabernet: Black currant, cherry, black fruits, and spices.
Merlot: Plum, assorted red or black fruits, spices, and floral notes.
Zinfandel and Syrah: Jammier and sweeter with notes of black fruits and peppery spices.
Pinot Noir: Herbaceous and floral with notes of red fruits.
Chardonnay: Cooler climate bottles will taste more tropical, while bottles from warmer regions will feature more melon and citrus.
Sauvignon Blanc: Grapefruit, gooseberry, lime, and melon.
“My number one tip for a successful wine tasting experience is to breathe,” says Chantel Banus, founder of demi, a range of half-sized wine bottles made to solve the “I can’t finish this in a day” dilemma without compromising quality. As a dietitian and wellness coach, Banus encourages her clients to approach consumption with gratitude and ease. “To accomplish this, it’s important to ground your nervous system so that you can exist in the present while being in tune with your senses. The next time you go to sip a glass of wine, take 5 intentional deep breaths” she advises.
Inhale in a sense of confidence and belonging, exhale out the need to have a stone fruit or minerality mentioned in the wine description.
Inhale again..2…3…4…and exhale out the exclusivity of those “in the know”; you know enough.
Inhale your inner anti-somm…exhale, releasing the obligatory nodding along while the sommelier obscurely explains why the wine of old guy number one will compliment your bucatini whereas wine from old guy number two will elevate your bucatini.
Inhale an invitation to playfulness, exhale out any stale superiority you may have encountered while tasting wine in the past.
Take your fullest inhale, hold it at the top, and breathe out a loud and frightful exhale (make it weird).
Now sip your wine like you’ve never tasted wine before; be curious, ask questions, impress no one, and most importantly, be authentic to yourself and your taste preferences. Wine has existed for thousands of years, and you don’t need to know a single thing to bask in its deliciousness.
If you’re curious to learn more unpretentious wine tasting tips, want to attend a demi community event (the next one is on 5/31!), also feel guilty about tossing the latter half of your 750 mL bottles and want to stay up to date on demi’s 325 mL two glass bottles, or would like to support an amazing female founded business by purchasing a box of curated demi bottles, check out @drinkdemi on Instagram!
